I Get Knocked Down

After everything I've been through, I keep hoping life will give me a break. But to date, I just think life is a big bully and every time I pick myself up it shoves me back down.

So, once Matt and I decided to pursue having a child carried by a surrogate, I thought easy sails ahead with just a few potential problems. Cost being the big one. Even if we can make it work financially, it's hard to stomach the thought of spending so much money on a child when others have them without even trying. Second problem, finding a willing carrier. It's no small task to carry a child for someone and understandably not everyone is willing or capable. But every time you think you know something someone comes along and proves you wrong. The finances aren't quite worked out but they are getting there and we have had many friends and family offer to carry for us. You would think we would be all set to have a baby then, right?

Wrong! Apparently, my body has decided it's done. After a few consultations with different fertility doctors and several tests, I've been told that I'm experiencing premature ovarian failure. While this naturally happens as women go through menopause, I'm in my early 30s not 40s-50s! The doctors aren't saying that IVF won't work but they have already strongly suggested I consider how much we are willing to spend before we call it quites.

The are telling me there is nothing I can do about my current hormone levels except hurry, as time will only make them worse. However, when I research online there seem to be some alternative medicine approaches available to me. Modern science hasn't really done anything for me to date so I don't see how trying a more holistic approach could possibly hurt. Wish me luck as I explore alternative medicine!